Don’t you get it? On the outside it’s a nail salon right, on the inside it’s the best money laundering a growing boy could ask for. Wait, wait! Come back here. Sit. Come on, come on… humor me here for a second. You know you need to launder your money, right? Do you understand the […]
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Hi boys. I’m Tina. You had me at horses, but then you lost me at corpses. You won’t regret it, dad. When I kiss Jimmy Jr. under the disco ball, it’ll be like we’re all kissing Jimmy Jr under the disco ball. It’s not meant to be hilarious. It’s supposed to be erotic. I’m just […]
Give me all the tacos, immediately. Give me all the tacos, immediately. Tacos for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Make it a double there pal. 50 cent tacos! I’ll take 30. Give me tacos, or give me death. CARNITAS!! Um, Tabasco? No thanks, do you have any Cholula? It’s taco time all the time. How do […]
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I won’t eat my cereal. Because I was home-schooled, I didn’t have a lot of friends and I did ballet, which was always just girls. Anything a minute on either side of that and you’re on your own. In most movies you spend so much time looking for any scraps of truth, and in this […]
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At last I could endure no longer to sit supinely by while a fellowman was dragged down to a horrible death by that repulsive reptile. Embedded in the prow of the skiff lay the spear that had been cast after me by him whom I suddenly desired to save. With a wrench I tore it […]